Feliz no-cumpleaños, Amy Winehouse…

Amy_Winehouse_01Amy Winehouse, una de las voces más prometedoras del soul europeo, cumpliría hoy 28 años. Pero no es el caso. Hace apenas ocho semanas que su cuerpo fue encontrado sin vida en el apartamento que poseía en Camden Square en su natal Londres. Era sábado, cerca de las cuatro de la tarde, la Policía Metropolitana confirmó casi de inmediato el hallazgo.

Ese 23 de julio se fue una promesa, un ser con instrumento marcado para la gloria. Yo, la conocí desde su primer disco, vagando en internet, buscando música negra. Le escuché cantando a capela en un video que algún usuario anónimo colgó en Youtube. Era una toma en directo, sin retoques, cruda y sincera, en la que afloraba con naturalidad esa cadencia tan suya. La piel se me erizó de inmediato. Etta James cruzó por mi mente, le visualicé en la cumbre de su carrera, grabando una pieza para Chess Records. Una referencia por todo lo alto.

Mis expectativas fueron creciendo cuando me fui adentrando en su obra. Escuché con renovado placer su álbum Frank. Desde entonces comencé a buscar cada grabación suya, como un poseso que escarba en la arena en busca de metales preciosos. Por entonces salió a la venta Back to Black, a todas luces un álbum maravilloso, autobiográfico; incluso, ahora, definitivo. Descubrí entonces sus problemas con las drogas.

Desde inicio de la década escuché noticias de su guerra interna contra el deseo de perderse en el universo paralelo de los psicotrópicos. Esperaba en silencio anunciara trabajar en algo nuevo. Este 2011 su último álbum de estudio cumplió cinco años.

Cancelaciones de presentaciones, marido convicto, ingresos a clínicas de rehabilitación. Luego, silencio absoluto. Largo silencio seguido de una sucesión ininterrumpida de recaídas en las drogas; finalmente, julio veintitrés, el desastre. Aquella tarde estaba yo en el cine, a mi acompañante le llegó un mensaje en su celular que anunciaba lo sucedido. La lloré de inmediato. En mi mente repasaba una y otra vez sus versos: “We only said goodbye with words / I died a hundred times / You go back to her / And I go back to black”.

Ahora, sentado en la sala de mi casa, en el primer aniversario no presente del inicio de sus días, le dedico tiempo, escribo sobre ella, leo sobre ella, le escucho cantar himnos de supervivencia: burlarse de la negrura de la muerte que a todos nos espera.

Y fabulo. Le imagino de pie, ella misma en el patíbulo de los tiempos, rindiendo cuentas al creador quien en su infinita misericordia le enjugará el llanto y le preguntará con ternura por qué ha precipitado con tanto ahínco aquél encuentro, el último que un espíritu experimenta. Entonces ella, levantando el rostro repetirá con resolución unos pocos versos escritos en vida: “I cheated myself /Like I knew I would /I told you, I was trouble / You know that I’m no good…”

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