Instrucciones para atrapar a un dragón

dragon

No voy a decirte cómo
pero debemos creer en los dragones
y si no es el dios saurio
el que se traga tantos kilómetros
es porque el animal está en mí
dicho (y hecho) por las fauces de fuego
y la ausencia de alas (en el tronco)”

La geisha y el dragón, Josu Landa

Atrapar un dragón es una tarea ardua, peligrosa y poco usual, sin embargo, si se hace con cuidado y con una estrategia adecuada, se pueden obtener grandes recompensas y satisfacciones.

1-En primer lugar nuestros actos deben ser inesperados para el dragón, debemos tomarlo por sorpresa, llegar ante él sin que lo tenga previsto.

2-Una vez que estemos frente a él debemos asegurarnos que sea un día propicio, hay que observarlo, comprobar que no se haya levantado demasiado loco, triste o hambriento, o sería muy difícil atraparlo (o demasiado fácil lo que arruinaría la satisfacción de la cacería).

3-Identificar al dragón es siempre un buen consejo, aunque los saurios de este tipo cambian constantemente, si vemos detenidamente notaremos ciertos rasgos característicos. Si elegimos el día adecuado para atraparlo, el dragón tendrá ganas de experimentar con nosotros antes de dejarse atrapar (esta es la parte divertida e interesante).

4-A veces, es posible que el dragón no tenga interés en nosotros y se fingirá muerto (o podría ser muy agresivo), entonces es mejor retirarse e intentarlo poco tiempo después. Si esa segunda ocasión el dragón no responde, es mejor desistir de la idea de atraparlo.

5-A veces es él el que se interesa en nosotros y nos acorrala en su cueva para observarnos, entonces no debemos dejarnos acorralar de manera fácil (o pierde el interés), pero tampoco habrá que ser demasiado difíciles. Si queremos que el dragón nos atrape debemos darle señales de que estamos interesados, pero estas deben ser sutiles, inesperadas, mágicas.

6-Sé tu mismo, se irrita fácilmente con las falsas pretensiones.

7-Es muy importante considerar el atuendo, no debes vestirte demasiado superficial, pero tampoco demasiado original, debes vestirte de la manera exacta para una cacería de dragones. (Si es de noche ponte pijama).

8-Deja tu cuello al descubierto, al dragón le gusta jugar al vampiro y acerca sus fauces ardientes a la nuca de sus perseguidores.

9-No arruines momentos importantes, estas criaturas tienen un gusto especial por los pequeños detalles, no juegues dramas ni menciones que ves telenovelas. Usa juegos de estrategia y siempre deja un poco de ti al descubierto cuando jueguen a las escondidillas. Habla con él con miradas pequeñas.

Una vez que lo hayas atrapado, no creas que ya acabó el juego, al dragón le gusta que haya cacerías de vez en cuando, y no olvides abrazarlo frecuentemente, eso le encanta y así lo mantendrás tranquilo y libre del mal humor. Si necesitas ayuda busca “dragones” en la sección amarilla, siempre funciona.

IMPORTANTE: Absténgase de acercarse al dragón: fanáticos religiosos, gente dogmática, vendedores de puerta en puerta (que estén en servicio), políticos de derecha y especialmente burócratas (cada vez que lleguen el dragón saldrá a desayunar).

RL

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