Pequeño desvarío

"Melancolía " (1894- 95), Edvard Munch

"Melancolía " (1894- 95), Edvard Munch


Existen ocasiones cuando te levantas con una extraña sensación sobre el pecho, similar a un vacío, a algo hueco. Dicha sensación te acompaña durante todo el día, es molesta, inútil. Ante la posible falta de conocimiento, se le dan diversos nombres: depresión, angustia, miedo. Yo he optado por darle el siguiente ridículo nombre: gripa. De esta manera, cuando tal sensación se presente, podré simplemente suspirar y decir, resignado, “maldita gripa”. Como si se tratase de una molestia menor, algo que jode los días pero que no se prolonga.

A continuación, dar a esta gripa el trato que merece. Recostarse en cama y sentir que se trata de una muerte breve. Llorar y limpiar los estragos, porque no habrá más vida después, porque no se podrá volver al pasado, porque es el final. Levantarse y hablar de esta muerte a todo ser conocido y apreciado. Salir a la calle y cargar con esta gripa que no te permite comer, beber, ser tú. Gritar sobre el enojo que te inspira tu actual condición. Hartar a la gente con la historia sobre tu próxima muerte. Repetir hasta que el relato adquiera matices ridículos, absurdos. No dejes de llamarle por su nombre: gripa.

No has sabido de alguien que muera por ella. Es temporal, es desagradable, es necesaria. Construir añoranzas pero no dejarse perder en sus espejismos. Resignarse y respirar constantemente: esta sensación es incómoda pero forma parte de nosotros. Al final, es sólo una ligera gripa.

Y no olvidar: el consuelo proviene de los lugares más inesperados.

| RMM | RMC |


Rafael Mendoza Carreón

Escritor fracasado retirado y jugador no profesional de Monopoly.


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